I look at those hands ticking its way.
The way it ticks made me ponder even deeper.
Will he or will he not?
Just the same thing that happened to me last year.
But unfortunately, for this year, he did not.
So it means to say that for last year, the opposite.
And, it was indeed unbelievable and memorable one I shall say.
Great, because now, it just truly different.
How heart breaking.
I mean, come on, how could someone be so cruel,
like what he did/is doing to me?
How could he just go away leaving me like this?
He will be going to Australia, for...hmm...a week or so?
On my very day,
[but well, who cares about my day! anymore]
but I have no idea what time he's departure,
or do I even care for now?!
Sooner or later, when he returns,
Brunei is the next destination.
How cool is that?!
Brilliant.
Now I just feel so ashamed and lost.
I feel like I was a doll for the past..six...months?
Was I played around with my feelings for that long?
Or is it just the way the story goes?
Because, I realise it myself,
with looking back at those history with my friendship with those 'boyfriends' of mine,
there is a pattern that ends up to square one all over again.
People that I will have to consider,
serious about them,
leaving...or shall I say,
bad things starts to occur on the sixth month of friendship?
Or is just...hmm...whatever!
Well, maybe I just expect too much huh.
Too much for pondering my brains out
but turns out to be bursting my brains into chunks of shit.
Am I angry at someone big now?
No.
He wrote my life this way because he is telling me something.
It is just up to me to...investigate?
Nope, not really.
He will show it to me.
Insya'Allah.
If I don't end up with him or anyone else,
because seriously, Mummy Bev said that "Who will have the guts to tolerate me?".
Fantastic.
I have accepted it because I know myself very well.
If I am fated to be single all my life...then...let it be I guess.
However, I still wish to see a boy and girl version of me.
Hmm...well, only He knows my ending.
Any way,
diamonds that flow down my cheek are not ashamed to be exposed though.
It is okay to have a rainy feature.
It is okay to let out the feelings...to feel better.
However, I certainly still seek for explanations.
Only humans have the heart to care. Unlike hayop.
______________________________BING BING; nadia______________________________
